Nov
9
A day with a clear head
Filed Under Health
For reasons that totally elude me, I am currently struggling with up to 6 days a week of variable mixtures of headache, excessive tiredness, anxiety and low blood sugar symptoms. And a sore throat.
If this is, as it should be, an alien cocktail of ailments, then just appreciate that fact.
Today, after the initial and inevitable waking headache unexpectedly faded away, I was left with a surge of energy and a clarity of thought that was hugely empowering. So I set about making the most of this with a long day of work.
Now you might thnik that I would necessarily be most happy to have recovered my health. Indeed, not so much recover as over-recover - I felt massively energsied - work was effortless.
But days like this, by nature of their rarity, are tinged with some negative aspects. First, that the comedown that my brain most likely has in store for me tomorrow is, by contrast, deeply frustrating. True, sometimes I get 2 good days in a row. But essentially, I know of no mechanism for sustaining today into tomorrow - and I have tried many many methods of doing so.
So what happens, as it did today, is that I end up in a manic rush, trying to catch up on all the complex, involved jobs that my brain is simply incapable of tackling on bad head days. There is a great sense of accomplishment, but also a bitterness that I have little choice - use my functioning brain now or wait another week or so for the next similar day.
At 10 am this morning, builders started work next door, making a hell of a din, and thereby making concentration tough. And also frustrating - I asked my neighbour how long it would last (should I go out and get a coffee), but when I start to explain that it is a ‘good head’ day for me, I get the inevitable blank stare. It means nothing to Bob, my neighbour and a real gentleman, and nor should it. But every fibre of my being was wanting to say how sacrosanct a day like this is and could he get the builders to do the work tomorrow.
Of course, I said no such thing, and fortunately, the noise abated at about 3pm.
I is 5:30 pm now, and I am taking a break to get this off my mind. I also know that I probably should meditate to calm my manic state down. But the torture of 6 straight days of bad head makes today an oasis, and it is terribly tempting to work like a nutter to squeeze all I can from my brain.
You see, not only is my head clear, but I mostly suffer not one jot of fatigue, working 10 or so hours. What is it about 15 years of tension headaches and a myriad ofrelated symptoms that can temporarily go into complete abeyance like this? The implication is that I should be able to switch off my headaches on an onging basis. But how on earth do I do that?
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