Jun
19
It’s just not fair
Filed Under Life, Psychology | Leave a Comment
On this theme of fairness, I thought I would add another insight.
The last week or two, I have been having progressively greater pain in my teeth. Initially when very hot or cold food was eaten, and now for hours at a time with no obvious trigger.
The pain is in a molar on the lower left side, and the matching molar on the upper left side. Now how unfair is that - not just one toothache, but two!
But then I thought about it.
It is exactly the opposite of unfair. It is nicely timely that problems in two teeth should manifest themselves at the same time, thereby requiring only one sequence of visits to the dentist.
Then I wondered about the pain itself. Is it really necessary to feel such pain? And I realised that I have done absolutely nothing about these teeth simply because the pain comes in fits and starts - there is literally not enough pain for me to take action.
Instinctive gut reactions to discomfort, such as when it gets too hot, and we moan of poor sleep, are often misjudged. They represent shallow thinking - merely emotionally driven verbalisations.
Jun
13
Life cannot be fair
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Fundamentally, fairness is only really meaningful when dealing like with like. It is basically fair to apportion an inheritence equally to offspring. But what if one of the offspring is severely disabled?
We are different, so life will necessarily not be the same for any of us. To one degree or another, some will get a better deal than others.
But people often do not ponder long on the degree with which this difference manifests itself in the real World. Insomnia is a very common complaint, disturbing sleep and leaving the poor sufferer somewhat less than fully energised each day. I discivered today that my friend Nick cannot remember at all ever failing to sleep well. Even allowing for a poor memory, he essentially falls asleep within 3 minutes if hitting the pillow every night, his mind free from worries or thoughts that might keep him awake. Each morning he awakes fully energised, ‘like a bullet’ in his words, often working for 12 hours.
Additionally, and at least in part a corollary of the good sleep, he cannot remember when he was last ill.
So, every day as far as he can remember, he functions effortlessly, unrestrained by tiredness or illness of mind or body.
For many people, never in their whole life have they had a day as good as Nick’s normal day. Yes, of course, you get used to good and bad, but I certainly know which I would prefer.
Statistically, Nick is stratospheres healthier than almost everyone in the UK. He is a nice, pleasant, friendly, happy fellow, and you wonder what on earth he has done to deserve this. But this is life - indiscriminantly treating people very very very differently.
Jun
10
I have often heard the suggestion that you should ‘be yourself’, targetted at others and myself.
The most likely reason why people suggest that I do this is that I stress myself out being patient with others.
So I thought to myself, it would indeed be prudent to be more natural. Besides, I am a pretty good guy, with good social skills. But after a few weeks of doing this, I notice the consequences. Simply that when less inhibited, my subconscious has a frequent tendency to blurt out inappropriate things. And to be very intolerant of others who fail to hear or understand me first time. I have had to apologise a number of times for being ‘curt’.
So now I understand why I have adopted my chameleon behaviour - adpating to each person so as to make them feel confortable being with me. It is not such a bad thing to do, because often the real me is actually not so nice. When I am abrupt or impatient or tactless with someone, I actually do not like myself doing it.
What people really mean by ‘Be yourself’ is to be the natural, easy going fellow you can often be, rather than say and do everything someone wants of you. But my point is that this state is not always the natural one - the impatient, intolerant state is often the natural one.
Catch those kind of people who are indeed always themselves on the wrong day and they will not hesitate to be rude or abrupt with you. And not apologise if you question their behaviour.
As to what is the best way to be, there is no real answer. A smart way to be is possibly to be relaxed when you feel in a good mood, and be very wary of what your brain will do when you are in a touchy mood. But this is still chameleon like behaviour - you are controlling how you are with others, rather than being ‘yourself’.
Oh to be someone who is basically in a stable, socially acceptable mood all the time. Life must be so much less tiring when you are like that.
Jun
4
Punishment to fit the crime
Filed Under Atheism, Religion | Leave a Comment
One of the key tenets of most juridicial systems is to punish in proportion to the crime.
If it is recognised that you are not responsible for a crime, and did not, indeed carry out the crime, then you are generally not punished.
According to many religions, however, a lot of our suffering on this planet is a punishment for the crime of our forefathers. Such as Adam and Eve. Is God being entirely fair or rational in dispensing punishments in this manner?